smokingrrl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Frustration I can't participate in the National Day of Silence today. Why? Because I offered to lead three study sessions for the test tomorrow for the class I TA for. My own fault - it's still a little frustrating though. I can't believe I would forget the date. I would have done the study sessions anyway, I'm just angry with myself that I forgot that it's day of silence today. I won't be able to particpate in the rally either, unless the study session at 5pm gets done super early and people are still out on the campus mall. Tomorrow I won't be able to go hear the ex-gay speaker at the tech. I missed Lori's class all last week, so I can't miss it this week. I don't know if the intense ire he would most likely build in me is worth the health cost regarding my IBS flaring up, etc. Still. The option to be able to go would have been nice but I had to be a dolt last week. Again, my own fault. I'm undecided if I should go talk with the ex-gay on Thursday at 4:30pm. Since I missed his presentations, I'm not sure if I would have anything to add. I am tempted to go to obviously offer support of my friends and to see if things stay calm, or at least try to keep them that way. Then again, just being in his presence is likely to stir up some deep rage within myself. Lately, with my other obligations, I'm feeling as though I'm coming up short. I feel as though I'm not devoting enough time to my friends. Then again, I don't want to go to the bar, and we all have varying schedules and committments in our lives that prevent us from hanging out as regularly as we probably all want to. I just don't want anyone of them to feel as though I'm totally unavailable. I'm really not, I'm just busy with school. The online system at school said my financial aid for summer had been determined, and that I would receive my award letter shortly. I got my reward letter yesterday. It said there was no funds to give me for summer and that I would be put on a waiting list. Neat-o. I hope I get that alternative student loan. I know the school as been contacted to verify my enrollment. Now all I have to do is await the documents, and hope they give me the final approval. I'm taking my Wellbutrin again. Just figured I'd mention that. -end- 5:46 am - Wednesday, Apr. 13, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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