smokingrrl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just blathering in update form Finally, the weekend. What do I get to spend my time doing? Working on three papers/midterms that are all due Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I can't wait until next Thursday at 6pm. Spring break -- I'll be grading tests for the class I TA, updating the gradebook, and emailing the students so they can catch up if need be. I'll also be celebrating Hunter turning 4! Jacob and KV both mentioned to Dale that Blair is an asshole (in a nicer way). Dale doesn't see his relationship (platonic) with Blair as being abusive at all. KV sat him down and told him it was. So Dale asked Jacob what he thought (Jacob had not discussed any of this with KV), and Jacob and Kayleen both told Dale that Blair is abusive. I worry for Dale. I feel like it's only a matter of time before Blair decides to be physically abusive. Right now he uses Dale, emotionally abuses him, and sexually abuses him (or so I think, but just my opinion). It's like Blair has the good life -- out of prison for being sex offender, but doesn't need to use children for his sick ass power games because he can use Dale for that. Unfortunately, Dale needs him around for economic reasons. Blair knows this. Blair has made sure to help out Dale financially when Dale needs it, therefore, Dale feels as though he owes Blair I guess. Blair is smarter than I gave him credit for. He knows exactly what he's doing with his little power game. I'm sure the high point of his stupid game is coming out of his bedroom, look at Dale and ordering Dale to either bend over so he can fuck him or to please him orally. It's the ultimate power -- not even having to ask for it -- just ordering it. Dale is used to relationships like this one, it's all he knows from what I have gathered from conversations he's had with KV, Robyn, and me. It just really pisses me off. Hopefully this combo will work. If I don't take my estrogen around the same time everyday...I get the mother of all hot flashes. It sucks. I'll also get night sweats if I miss a dose. Besides, I'm quite tired (so tired I can't sleep), and KV was out like a light on the couch at 10:30 or so. This week has been exhausting as far as emotions go. Hopefully things will get better now that people have actually talked to KV about her over-agressiveness. It really didn't matter that I talked to her about it on behalf of other people. It hit home more so when the people she's affecting talked to her about it. Now she knows what's going on. If I were wealthy, she and I could both go see gender identity therapists. That would so rock. Unfortunately, we are both not even close to rolling in the dough. It really works out best for me not to work while I'm enrolled in school full time. Shae 2:26 am - Saturday, Mar. 12, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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