smokingrrl's Diaryland Diary

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A new week, hopefully no new sick

Wow, this may be the week that I'm actually able to go to classes all week.

My flu is gone (knock on wood), and so is my migraine. All I have now is some congestion here and there with my sinuses, which Sudafed should take care of.

**
I stated before the the Mixed Fruit stuff got worked out on Saturday night. I'm very glad for this. Although I still find it odd that it all stemmed from one person pretty much (Jacob). I love him to death, but I'm so thrilled he finally admitted to being a gossip. I really do hope he talks to anyone who he may misunderstand -- as far as future statements. That's what seemed to happen regarding this whole mess that resulted in Saturday.

I have a feeling that things will remain rocky between he and KV, but again, that's up to them to (continue) work on if they should choose to do that. I'm no longer going to worry about it. If Jacob says something that he really should be discussing with KV, then I will point that out to him. The same goes for KV.
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I'm on about 5 hours of sleep, but it's worth it. KV and I ended up talking about her gender dysphoria, and now I understand it so much better. It's nice when I'm able to get her to talk more clearly about things like this, and any other issues she may be having because it really does bring us closer as friends, and as a couple. I've also finally found out that she doesn't bring stuff up to me for fear of hurting my feelings. For example, there are times she feels I'm not really listening to her, but she never stops me and tells me this for fear of it hurting my feelings. I told her it hurts me more not to know what's going on.

We also ended up talking about why we discuss our ex-partners. It turns out that we both are grateful to them for teaching us things about ourselves. Yet, KV totally understands why I don't have any love (as far as friends go) towards Rick, where as she feels love (as friends) towards Lauren. I'm fine with that.

We also talked about our sex life (or severe lack there of), which helped a lot. I keep telling her that it's ok to tell me things. She really does have some problems communicating.

We also talked about looking for a two bedroom apartment together this summer depending on how much it would cost. If it would be cheaper (money-wise), then she would get an efficeny and I would get a one bedroom.

I think it was Friday night (pre-migraine) that we mentioned to each other that it felt like we had been together a lot longer than we really have been. I think that's why I don't weird out when we joke with people how, for example, in five years hopefully KV will be doing her PA stuff and I can be in school still. I guess she really wants to get into Madison's program for that, which is cool by me. Even if it wasn't cool by me, it would not matter because it's not my life.

As hokey as this all sounds, I've noticed a lot of good things about myself since we've been together. I seem to be more willing to show a softer, more affectionate side.
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It was really nice to see my mom and dad last night. I missed them. I also missed my nephew a great deal. After Hunter had his bath, he just curled up by me, and we watched TV for a little while until I had to leave (roads were getting dicey, and I needed to go home and sleep). When I first got there, Hunter demanded to know where Kenny was and why Kenny wasn't there with me. He also asked if I would be spending the night.

Birthday shopping for him will be very easy this year. March 1st the Spongebob Squarepants movie is released on DVD. He's so getting that (he also enjoyed it in the theater). Besides, I'm buying myself a copy.

Shae

5:25 am - Monday, Feb. 14, 2005

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