smokingrrl's Diaryland Diary

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Paranoia, paranoia, paranoia!

Wow. For some reason today I feel completely socially inept. Actually, I've felt that way for the last couple days.

It's like someone is cool enough to talk to me, and I ruin it by dominating the conversation. I need to just stop myself and ask them questions concerning themselves.

I've also been joking around about people being afraid of me. 1/2 of me knows this is so not true, so I find it hilarious and feel the need to joke about it. 1/2 of me wonders if it's true, and jokes about it to feel better. Yet, I think I'm being an asshole about it. I don't think people understand I'm joking.

My sense of perception is all screwed up when it comes to reading other people lately, as well. I keep getting instinctual feelings that certain people are annoyed with me, angry with me, etc.

Today I was also a dolt because the religious studies deparment chair bought something from our organization's booth, and he and I chatted for awhile. I completely forgot to introduce Dale (seriously and honestly) because I thought Dale already knew who he was. There I go assuming. Jeebus!

Hell, I'm even annoyed with myself lately.

(I did get the NOTA author's email address so hopefully I'll get some insight.)

I really have nothing else to go into. I just feel very exhausted - mentally and emotionally. And I feel that someone or a group is annoyed with me, unhappy, etc. (like I said above).

Shae

2:20 pm - Thursday, Feb. 03, 2005

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