smokingrrl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- just random thoughts I would love to get a blurty journal as well as keeping this one. Unforunately, blurty is so touchy-feely as far as loading, etc. I missed going to Heckel's tonight. Angela fell asleep at my mom and dad's while we were there, and we decided to just go home and go to bed. I missed hanging out with Ryan, Karl, and Robyn. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone will be around tomorrow night. Ryan and Karl have to go to the cabin for Karl's mom's birthday. Plus it will be flippin cold (colder than it has been lately). I am adoring all the Kurt Vonnegut books that I have read lately. It really makes me just want to do my own thing, and go after what makes me happy -- or what I think will make me happy in the long run. It also helped seeing my dad tonight. He was laid off this week (I think for only this last week). Con: lack of income. Pro: he was way happier, and he doesn't need his blood pressure meds when he's not working. It really sucks. I don't want to end up that way. I'm going to be very much in debt after college, I would hate to be a wage slave just to pay them off. It would be better for me if I could actually enjoy what I'm doing to pay them off. I still have strong urges to only minor in journalism, with a major in religious studies. Then going to a grad school in California. I don't know what it is, but it's nagging me a lot to do this. I am fairly certain that KV is leaning towards the name Angela, although she doesn't want me to refer to her as Angela yet. I think she's nervous. Yet, I renamed her folder on my desktop as "Angela's stuff", and she uses Angela when writing, for story characters, and scrabble sign in. I wasn't really keen on Angela as a name at first, but as time goes on, and I roll it around in my head when I look at her -- it is beautiful. I read Angela's coming out letter that she has written to her parents. It's a great letter. When she will send it is unknown, and that's cool. I just hope her parents don't disown her at all. The books that I have in my "bookbag" at the university library's website is huge! They have almost every book that I've wanted to read and then some. Not to mention they have a lot more Vonnegut books that I'd love to read. gag me! cutesy alert! I've even considered, if we are still together in the summer, getting a two bedroom apartment with her. She has considered it, too. Mainly so we have a computer/book/music/pacing/extra bedroom room. Plus, if we break up, there will be a seperate room for her to stay in until the lease is up and we can go our seperate ways. We'll see. I'm very happy with her, and yet for some reason I feel slightly guilty for that. I don't really know why. Maybe I don't think I deserve this, and that is why every other relationship (that was good) just blew up? Who the hell knows. I have just noticed that I'm not trying to sabotage this one at all. I'm finally just taking it day-by-day and enjoying it. Trust me, there have been the ups and downs -- no one and nothing is perfect. (Thankfully) Angela watched "Drop Dead Gorgeous" with me the other night. She appreciated the dark humor of it. We watched "Napolean Dynamite" the other night as well. I must own this movie someday! We laughed our asses off -- well, almost. I even found an online store that sells t-shirts with sayings from the movie on it. Angela's watching "Family Guy" right now. Her laughing makes me smile. 6:35 am - Saturday, Jan. 15, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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